Health Care Chronicles Part II

Pushing and Shoving Ideas

(A. Big Push didn’t often visit Cornelius Shove at his fancy K Street lobbyist firm in Washington, DC, but when he did, it was for serious talking on serious issues. Like Health Care Reform, even if old Shove did have to sniff an awful lot before he squatted over an idea. See yesterday’s tale here.)

“That was completely unnecessary!” Shove said briskly as he tried to smooth his necktie and idly wondered what having it blocked and cleaned would cost. “We could have compromised, after all!”

“Compromise! Push shouted as he slammed a grimy fist on Shove’s polished oak desk. “Compromise!” He uncurled his fist and edged the hand towards Shove’s throat again, while Shove hastily slid back his office chair.

“Well of course, compromise,” Shove added quickly. “You know, two reasonable sides working to resolve their differences, instead of unilateral declarations and..” he paused warily, then forged on “ …and personal violence.”

“Ohhh, now I gets it,” Push said, leaning back to suck on a hollow tooth for a second or two. “Why sho – we just talk and talk, and then talk some more until we’re so plumb talked out that we couldn’t croak mor’n a road-kill frog..”

“Those aren’t the terms I would have selected, “Shove said, “but they do indicate you get the general idea at least. Confrontation is the enemy of talk and compromise and talk and compromise are good, and that’s . . .”

“And that’s why it’s you and me again!” Push interrupted. “You talkety-talks have about gummed Health Care Reform to death. Oh, there’s Option A, and Option B and Option B over A and A over B, but ain’t none of them worth a damn to any old son who’s sick and can’t afford insurance.”

“Certainly you can’t expect an issue of this complexity to be resolved simply,” Shove protested. “Why the competing demands of the various stakeholders alone are extremely intricate.”

“You betcha,” snorted Push. “Ain’t nothing more prone to intricate than a gang trying to divide the loot. But that ain’t why I’m here, Shove old buddy – and damned if you don’t know it too.”

“Not again!” Shove pleaded. “The last time it almost bankrupted me!”

Push took a long look around.” I’d say you got over it, Brother Shove, I would surely say that your bank ain’t rupted nowhere.”

“We have managed to recover nicely” Shove said before Push roared “And you’ll recover again, don’t you doubt a minute, but you know what we got to do, so let’s get to doing it!”

“All right…”Shove signed. “You begin.”

“Push has come to Shove, right?” Push intoned in a preacher-like prompt.

“Right,” Shove said.

“And it’s about Health Care Reform, right?”

“Right, “Shove sighed, knowing what was coming.

“Aannd,” Push drawled, “when Push comes to shove on anything it’s time to decide what’s wrong and what’s …”

“Right,” Shove sighed again.

“So what we got right here is a health care system that costs more than any and delivers less than most,” Push said “and so it’s pretty plain that keeping anything much like it is flat out..”

“Wrong,” Shove barely whispered, he so hated the word.

Push grinned. “Well, now I know that wasn’t easy, you old Shove-it, but you said it you own self. What we got is wrong, and we got to fix it and we can’t waste any more time compromising and talking and just otherwise flapping around the hen coop.”

“You’re right,” Shove said almost to himself, then paused and said it again, adding “You’re right, it’s time to pass health care reform!” He paused again then opened his office door and bellowed to a surprised staff “PASS THE DAMNED HEALTH BILL! GET MOVING!”

Shove then turned towards Push, offering his hand.”Thanks, old friend, I needed that.”

“No thanks needed,” Push said. “Well it was just as plain as day – when Push comes to Shove, you just gotta do the right thing.”

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