Brain-Soaking Slogans

 For Teabaggers

In an outreach to intellectuals, leaders of the conservative Teabag Movement in American politics want to expand their debate terms beyond “Nazi!” and “Socialist!” to include slogans – “something that can soak into your head,” one explained.

So as a public service, (Sorry! No Offense Intended!) here are slogans that members of the Teabag movement can embrace, as long as they use only their right arms. Critics who say the right-only policy indicates half-embraced intellects are Nazis or Socialists anyway.

If It Feels Good, Don’t Do It.

If God had intended for things to feel good on this Earth, then there wouldn’t be any point to Heaven, would there? Feeling good on this Earth is like trying to peek under the Skirts of the Hereafter, and you know where that gets you, don’t you?

Don’t Trust Anyone Who Can Count To 30

A man’s head is lots clearer when it isn’t chock full of all those don’t-do-a-damn-thing knowledges. A clear head makes the right decisions, after all, and in the Teabag Movement the clearest head wins.

Keep On Truckin’

Many Teabaggers are also members of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, and we all want them to Keep on Truckin’ and never mind none of that crap about green railroads and local production from those Socialists and Nazis with their tendencies hanging out there in the open, you betcha.

Make War, Not Love

You can make war in public without getting arrested. See what happens if you’re doing the Other Thing out there in broad daylight for God’s sake. They ain’t called Piece Officers for nothin’ you know.

Turn Off, Tune Out, Drop In

Those Leftist Mainstream Media boys just won’t quit, so you quit on them first. Turn Off that TV set if it ain’t on Fox, Tune Out all that crap about facts and Drop In on Rush or Glenn or Sarah whenever you can get them on the pickup’s radio, fer sure.

People To The Power

What we need is strong, upstanding folk to support and take care of the rest of us who don’t want to worry about that stuff , and it’s our duty to support them any old which way we can, you betcha.

Fer sure.

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GOP’s Steele Dem’s Man of Year?

No comments came from Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele over the weekend on the possibility of him being named Democrat of The Year.

Observers pointed to Steele’s prediction that Democrats would retain control of the House in 2010 as just the latest in his long string of boosts to the Democratic Party. “We need to rally the faithful to avoid a typical mid-term slump,” one knowledgeable Democrat said “and Michael’s comments are typically just the medicine we need.”

Grateful Democrat operatives were anxious to make certain Steele’s important work for the party got appropriate recognition. They pointed to the surprise release –at least to many Republican officials – of Steele’s book, “Right Now: A 12-Step Program for Defeating the Obama Agenda.” 

In previous mid-term campaigns, developing talking points against the Republicans was long, hard and expensive for Democrats. Now they’re getting them neatly packaged in a book available for less than $20.

Example from Steele’s book: “Enough of complaining about big government when we’re out of power, but embracing big government when we’re in power.” No Democrat could have said it better, but lots and lots of Democrats are sure to say it over and over.

Not content to merely speak for the Democratic agenda, Steele has been exemplary in using his personal actions to highlight Democrat’s view that the greatest Republican value is Look Out For Number One.

Steele is charging as much as $20,000 to make a speech, perhaps to supplement the paltry $223,500 annual salary he’s getting from the GOP in part to make speeches. Of course he’s entitled to earn a little money on the side, unlike most getting unemployment benefits, some Republicans say.

Thank You Lord! is what many Democrats then say.

Although Democrats’ gratitude for Steele’s contributions to the party runs deep, it was unclear whether or not a Democrat of The Year award would actually be offered the GOP chairman. Steele, after all, has invited potentially disgruntled GOP leaders to fire him if they’ve got problems with the way he’s running the GOP.

Some Democrats wonder whether giving him the Democrat of the Year award would be just too blatant, even for Steele. “Michael Steele’s the best donkey Democrats could hope for,” one observer said. “Let’s not get our cart in front of that ass!”

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