A Great Gift To America

Trump White House Advisor Kellyanne Conway has given America a great and useful gift and we should be very pleased and thankful.

NBC’s Chuck Todd confronted Conway with Trump Press Secretary Sean Spicer opening his first press conference with a falsehood about inaugural crowd size. Conway responded "You're saying it's a falsehood. ... Sean Spicer, our press secretary, gave alternative facts to that.”

Alternative Facts. What a marvelous idea! It’s an outstanding example of the new approach this administration brings, and we’re all lucky they are willing --eager, even -- to share it with us. And we should take this guidance to heart and use it in our daily lives.

Alternative Facts are part of Make America Great Again, so here are examples of how true patriots can use them as part of the Great Movement:

• When your spouse catches you doing the Bare Boogie with a neighbor, use an Alternative Fact to explain that it’s not adultery, it’s being neighborly.
• If the IRS becomes skeptical about dependents named Wags, Jingle, Rover and Woofy, use an Alternative Fact to show you’re merely being species-inclusive.
• Use an Alternative Fact to tell the Boss who complains about you being late that you’re really being extra early for tomorrow.

The potential for Alternative Facts is so vast it is difficult to believe, which is the idea. We can erase the federal debt  by calling it Tomorrow Helping Today. We can handle “Islamic terrorism, which we will eradicate completely from the face of the earth,” by bombing some sand and declaring terrorists deranged individuals acting alone.

Income inequality becomes bootstrap opportunity. Racial and sexual discrimination becomes returning to traditional values.  Voter interference becomes safeguarding our elections.

No need to go on and on. But every citizen now in an America Being Made Great Again should remember these and other gifts in their prayers.

And they should add “By the way, Lord, what did we do to deserve this?”

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