Uncle Sam’s Fencing Skills

Those tempted to let Republicans get their way on health care reform should look at the results of the last time Republicans got their way, the border fence between the United States and Mexico that was started during the Bush administration.

The fence was started because the Republican Howler Chorus then was baying that illegal immigrants from Mexico were “invading.” Fences and walls have lousy records against invaders going back to Roman times, but Howlers don’t let facts spoil their music.

And so Uncle Sam launched an effort to build a fence along the 1,969 miles of border between the United States and Mexico, ignoring the fact that excellent ladders were widely available on the Mexican side, as well as wirecutters, axes, shovels and other handy implements.

If you want to wade through the details, start here, but the short course is that we’ve built 600 miles or so of fence for $2.4 billion, which doesn’t include the more than $4 million we’ve spent fixing the thousands of holes already punched through it.

Now not even the federal government is dumb enough to attempt a physical fence for the entire border length, so much of the rest will be a technology-based fence, at least if funding and technology for that effort materialize.

Until then, the worth of a “virtual” fence against a “real” fence crosser is open to debate.

All of which surfaced in media stories this week of a Government Accountability Office Report pointing out that in addition, we’ll spend $6.5 billion maintaining this marvel over the next 20 years.

So let’s review –

We’ve bet more than $2.4 billion so far, we haven’t funded the rest and it’ll suck another $6.5 billion just keeping even with what we’ve got.. Of course we are doing this to keep out the roughly half a million illegal immigrants each year who arrive to join the 12 million or so already here. So that’s $8.9 billion and climbing for keeping out illegals.

If we keep them out. With 12 million strikeouts, our batting average isn’t anything to brag about.

So let’s stop fencing them out and try buying them out. About 40 percent of Mexico’s population tries to get by on about $550 a year. If we offer the half million who try to come here each year another $550 to stay right where they are, it only costs us $275 million a year.

Which means over 20 years, it would cost $5.5 billion – lots less than what’s projected now, never mind the costs of the yet-to-be funded (or invented) technology portion.

Poor Mexicans are happy because they’ve doubled their incomes and didn’t have to leave home. American taxpayers are happy because they’re paying less per head to stop illegal immigration. Even Republicans might be happy, at least behind closed doors and in the privacy of their own homes.

Sure, fence companies and the folks that sell ladders and wirecutters are going to face rough times, but they can always cut lawns or clean houses or process chickens to get by.

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Recession Must Be Ending—

Springtime for But-Birds

One of the surest signs that the Great Recession might be ending is the resurgence of the But-Birds.

And no, while there are great similarities, not the ones who would need to spell it with an extra letter T.

Like the feathered dudes who chirp the coming Spring, these birds all have their distinctive calls:

n “I’m not against health care for everyone, but I’m against socialized medicine.

n “Sure, the wealthy ought to pay a bigger share of taxes, but you can hardly call my income bracket wealthy.”

n “Of course I believe in equal opportunity, but I’m against reverse discrimination.

n “You can speak any language you want, but English ought to be the official language of government.

And just as the guys with feathers either migrate in the winter or keep under cover, But-Birds wait until the recession starts to thaw before they emerge. The last group, the But-Birds who want all governing done only in English are a related species to the ones who “supports immigration, but not illegal immigration.” You can usually find them together, and their call is starting to be heard again. Still, one But-Bird at a time. . .

Last month, Senator James M. Inhofe, Republican of Oklahoma, introduced English-only legislation, saying according to his web site:

“Our nation was settled by a group of people with a common vision, and as our population has grown, so has our cultural diversity. . .This diversity is part of what makes our nation great. However, we must be able to communicate with one another so that we can appreciate our differences. By establishing that there is no entitlement to receive documents or services in languages other than English, we set the precedent that English is common to us all in the public forum of government.”

The effort is called the National Language Act of 2009. If you look at the statement above and realize that “however” is the way someone speaking their Sunday-Go-To-Meeting Language says “but,” you’ll see the But-Bird’s native behavior in its habitat.

Which is to say the behavior that preys on the anti-immigrant, mostly anti-Hispanic fears of a But-Bird’s constituency. This is the 111^th Congress, meaning our democracy has survived 110 previous ones, and Senator Inhofe’s web site explains he was up to similar stuff in Nos. 109 and 110.

English-only proponents, as Senator Inhofe says in that statement, seek to improve communication by denying a large group of folk the easiest way to communicate. And they ignore that the “common vision” that brought almost all groups to the United States was to get far away from societies hell-bent on enforcing a common vision. You know – one monarch, one faith, one tongue, one culture; Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer; Workers of All Countries Unite; Serve The People. And all the others too tiresome to repeat or live under.

They also ignore that the children of Spanish-speaking immigrants inevitably learn English and that their children will usually speak only English – as did the Polish. Italian, Greek, Russian. Ukrainian, German, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese and many others before them. And they ignore that making it easier for the largest immigrant group to put down roots in our society by offering them help in their own language at key points actually speeds the assimilation process.

Still, the ritual tweets of the But-Birds, even this one, mean that a pre-dawn is breaking the recession darkness.

We just have to be careful of the gifts these birds have a habit of dropping on the rest of us.

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Weekend Tids and Bits

 

Help To Keep Your, uh Chin Up came Thursday from Pfizer, Inc., which announced that Viagra and Lipitor would be among the 70 widely used drugs it would make available for free to those who have lost their jobs since January 1 and have been taking one of the drugs for three months or more. Cynics groused that Pfizer would use the tax write-off to build brand loyalty and avoid trimming its production; Pfizer, the world’s largest drug company, says it’s just trying to help folks who are down on their luck. More information is at 866-706-2400.

 

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Hasta la vista seems to be what illegal immigrant are saying in these tough employment times, according to figures released by the Mexican government. Emigration from Mexico to other countries declined about 25 percent for the year ending in August 2008. That’s about 226,000 folks who decided they’d rather be unemployed at home than in the United States, since the USA is the overwhelming destination for those leaving Mexico legally or otherwise. While Americans are reacquainting themselves with lawnmowers and discovering that you don’t have to speak Spanish to put up drywall, experts say this is all a blip. When prosperity returns, so will the illegal workers.

 

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A New Game of Chicken is emerging, and we don’t mean the kind involving head-on hot rods. Turns out that an increasing number of otherwise sane urban folk are starting to keep a few chickens in the backyard for eggs, companionship (no, I’m not kidding) and the occasional Final Dinner Invitation. That’s a problem in some areas, where zoning laws call fowls foul; in others, zoning laws are quiet on the subject, one lawmakers never expected to confront. Whether you think this is the Next Big Thing or the last straw in declining neighbor relations, check out Backyard Poultry at http://www.backyardpoultrymag.com/ . The featured article in the April/May issue is Chickens Make Great Neighbors by Peter Brophy.

 

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China Puritan No Mao it seems with the development of Love Land, a sexual theme park in Chongqing, according to the UK’s Guardian. Chairman Mao is said to have enjoyed many a roll in the bird’s nest, but his Cultural Revolution made the Puritans of American fame look positively libertine. The Guardian says the park is set to open in October and will feature naked human sculpture, giant genitalia and information on technique and safe sex.

 

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