Dog, Wife and Davy Crockett

 

 

Davy Crockett’s 1834 autobiography begins with :

 

“I leave this rule for others when I'm dead
Be always sure you're right — THEN GO AHEAD!”

 

Good advice, or as Tigger would say, “Arooof!” which gets us to the dilemma. In mid-September, Tigger, my soulmate and companion of 12 years, needed the kind of help that only a vet’s final needle can give, so we went together and only one of us came home.

 

Which was tough, and I mourned.

 

Wife, my other companion, didn’t mourn exactly, but if she gave herself high fives, she at least had the courtesy to do it elsewhere. She also said “There will be no more dogs!”

 

Well, whether wife or dog, you’ve got to make allowances for a fellow creature’s nature. Just as most dogs will loyally follow your lead, most wives will try to pull or push things their way. And besides, whether it’s a wife or a dog, it’s not seemly to take up with a new one while the old one’s barely gone.

 

But when six months had passed,  it was time. I needed loving eyes, a wagging tale and big, slobbery kisses. After almost 40 years of marriage, I knew that would most probably come from a dog. But when I mentioned to Wife that I was going to get one, she said that if a dog came, she would go.

 

Oh.

 

Clearly, the thing to do was to examine it in light of Davy’s motto. Pick Dog or Wife and then go ahead. I began to make a list:

 

·        Living with a dog is fairly straightforward. With a crate, a leash and the mutual understanding of who’s boss, things progress nicely and the dog will make you happy. A wife always wants a new crate, ignores a leash, has a twisted idea of who’s boss, and expects you to make her happy.

 

·        A dog will give you a happy greeting every time you walk through the door, probably figuring out where you’ve been from the scent of your clothes. A wife will figure things out the same way, but it may not be a happy greeting.

 

·        A dog is always by your side. A wife is always on your back.

 

·        A dog sheds twice a year and you sweep. A wife buys new clothes constantly and you weep.

 

·        A dog listens without comment. A wife comments without listening.

 

The list could have gone on, but it was clearly in the dog’s favor, and it doesn’t become a gentleman who’s ahead to run up the score. And even though Dog was way ahead on points, Wife eventually won the game, thanks to Davy Crockett.

 

See, I was looking just at the positive. Davy Crockett would have looked at both sides. He would have pointed out that while I have trained several loyal, loving dogs in my life, I’ve been at the Wife-training game for decades and still haven’t trained one.

 

Giving up now would make me a quitter, and Davy Crockett was no quitter. I won’t be a quitter either.

 

Besides, there’s always a chance to slip away to the local shelter now and then for a little discreet dogging on the side. . .

 

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