Giving Thanks . . .Write On!

Thanksgiving tomorrow marks the uniquely American holiday when cardiologists measure the prospects for their future prosperity as families celebrate by first stuffing a turkey and then themselves.

It’s our way of saying we’re thankful.

Folks who write about current events have reason to be especially thankful, since they neither sow, nor do they reap, they just comment. And what a season for comment it’s been.

So in no particular order, this writer is thankful for:

The Republican Zipper Brigade, that stalwart band of buttoned-up Family Values types who earnestly pursue lives of zipper-down research into the sins they oppose – after all, Know Your Enemy, right?

Sarah Palin, who hasn’t finished a term as governor of Alaska or a complete sentence, and isn’t letting either trifle bother her in her pursuit of higher goals. Whether those goal include higher office, completed sentences or simply higher revenue from exploiting sudden celebrity isn’t clear, but why should clear be on the tables when it’s just what they want from under, you know and we won’t let them come on top with it, you betcha!

Lou Dobbs, who parted ways with CNN with a multi-million-dollar package to contemplate a future as a United States Senator or, perhaps, President of The United States. That his most devoted supporters, full-length mirrors, aren’t allowed to vote is just one more wrong he’s determined to right. Very right. Far, far  right.

Soon-to-be-former New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine, who discovered that while money can’t buy love, in a recession it can’t even buy New Jersey. Corzine spent significantly more than his opponents for significantly less results. Maybe it was part of a secret plot for him to move those talents to Washington, where they are a natural fit with the federal bailout mavens who also spend much and get little.

Wall Street, which spent the year jumping into a raging river of bad debt, being rescued by taxpayers, then giving itself a heroism bonus. This bit of gratitude is shared with the Obama Administration, which spent the year desperately trying to churn butter from the shit Wall Street swore was cream.

Swine Flu and The World Health Organization who proved that being largely innocuous and inept isn’t a bar to fame and fortune if your public relations staff is really earning its keep.

RNC Chairman Michael Steele, whose ability to stay on message –“I’m wonderful! I’m wonderful!” – transcends any meaningful attempts at bipartisan compromise on any issue.

America’s Daily Newspapers, which are reminding us that they’re too important to die and citing their own statements to make the argument, which would be funny if anyone were paying attention. Which they aren’t. Which is the problem.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

###