Faith for Conservative Republicans!

Conservative Republicans got important help in a study released by the Pew Forum On Religion & Public Life, which reports that almost 30 percent of Americans say they’ve been in touch with someone who has died.

“We didn’t think Senator McCain was being quite that active,” said one Republican party conservative. Told that McCain was very much alive, at least personally, he said “Oh, did Sarah bring him back?”

The study of American religious beliefs and practices offers information that fits nicely with GOP conservative wing public positions and actions. It gives the faithful affirmation and the rest of the country confirmation. For example, 25 percent of Americans expressed a belief in astrology, Pew said. That’s cheering for conservatives wistful for the Reagan years, as well as mainstream critics of the last Bush administration, who point out that at least the Reagan bunch consulted something.

Pew says some 16 percent also believe in the evil eye and casting curses. That roughly corresponds to conservative talk radio audiences. For the record, Pew reported no direct evil mouth measurement in its charts, although the reference to “casting of curses” gives pause.

Some of the superficially best news for conservatives in a party that doesn’t have either house of Congress or the White House is that Pew finds 24 percent of adults believe in some form of reincarnation. Experts caution that reincarnation doesn’t necessarily meaning coming back better or at least the same. Conservative republicans could be reincarnated as Neanderthals, for example, leaving social values intact but presenting other challenges.

The study also found that 26 percent of Americans believe there is spiritual energy in physical things, and although the study didn’t mention fossil fuels, conservative friends Big Oil and Big Coal have established records in energy that moves everything from vehicles to votes. Still, accurate measurement for comparison is a challenge – the Great Free Market has established accurate measurements of energy costs and Congressional vote costs, but spiritual energy has been more difficult, especially in Washington.

Perhaps the best news for conservative Republicans from the Pew study is the prospects for future growth. According to Pew, significantly more Democrats and Independents believe in reincarnation, yoga, spiritual energy, astrology and the evil eye than do overall Republicans.

“Them folks could be the good new old blood we need,” mused a senior conservative.”After all, there’s plenty of room in the long and narrow conservative tent, plenty of room.”

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