White House Security Breached

WASHINGTON -- Worried White House officials scrambled to revamp security operations today  after an intruder breached the building’s perimeter defenses and got within yards of the Oval Office.

The disturbing incident happened while advisers were discussing demonstrations around the country against President Trump’s executive order temporarily barring U.S. entry and immigration  from some Muslim-majority countries.

A source within the White House not authorized to speak truthfully said the suspect was identified as Objective Reality, no age available.  Authorities believe there may be other threats to the administration coming from Reality and supporters, although this intrusion amounted to just a scare.

The intruder was stopped by by a pack of angry anti-Reality social media tweets, many of them belonging to the president. Reality dropped to the ground while laughing protectively and remained there until being escorted off the White House grounds.

Not asked about the incident, Special Assistant to the President for Alternatives Kellyanne Conway said  nonetheless “If you are part of team Trump, you walk around with these gaping, seeping wounds every day, that's fine.”

Presidential Press Secretary Sean Spicer had no comment. His “role in the Trump administration will be to provide the American public with robust and clearly articulated misinformation,” according to a description from The Onion that Spicer said “nailed it.”  

White House observers noted it would be have been difficult for Spicer to fulfill that role as described with Reality nearby.

Meanwhile, U.S. Senators John McCain (R-AZ) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC) released a statement on the President’s executive order on immigration saying “Our government has a responsibility to defend our borders, but we must do so in a way that makes us safer and upholds all that is decent and exceptional about our nation.”

President Trump proved he was unscathed by the Reality scare by tweeting in reply:

“The joint statement of former presidential candidates John McCain & Lindsey Graham is wrong - they are sadly weak on immigration. The two...Senators should focus their energies on ISIS, illegal immigration and border security instead of always looking to start World War III.”

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