G.O.P. Tar Baby Tactics

Republican Secret Strategy Revealed

Seasoned political observers said Republican reaction to President Obama’s Wednesday speech on health care reform revealed new clues on Republican development and strategy.

Pointing out that most Republicans spent the evening sitting on their hands during Obama’s applause lines, analysts said it was a sound rebuttal to the charge that Republicans can’t find their asses with both hands. “The Republican party had both hands firmly in place for all to see,” said one GOP representative. Few Democrats denied the observation.

Others saw the passive Republican behavior as part of a secret Republican plan to deal with increasing Democrat demands and a shrinking Republican base by adopting a Tar Baby strategy.

Based on the folk-tale writings of Joel Chandler Harris, the Tar Baby strategy uses a dummy to smear and entangle anyone who tries to connect. An example was South Carolina Republican Representative Joe Wilson shouting out “You lie!” when Obama said the proposed health plan wouldn’t cover illegal immigrants.

That Wilson is from South Carolina affirms his dummy credentials, but close observers said he was stung by calls from both parties to apologize. Informed sources said he briefly considered South American airplane tickets for a reflective hike on the Appalachian trail using South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford’s map. Wilson ultimately apologized for his “lack of civility,” although some wondered whether fellow Republicans had applied pressure after considering the possible loss of illegal immigrant household help.

Meanwhile, designated readers at Republican pre-speech conferences also reportedly told lawmakers that B’rer Rabbit, the ensnared victim in the Tar Baby folk tale, escapes by convincing his captors to throw him into the briar patch. He convinces them he fears it most, but knows it’s his home and haven.

That reportedly energized Republican lawmakers to redouble their efforts to torpedo health care reform, secure in the knowledge that the electorate would throw them into the briar patch outer darkness most call home.

(In a side development, several Republican lawmakers reportedly expressed unease that Uncle Remus, the narrator in Harris’s folk tales, is an African American. Makes them nervous. They were reassured when designated readers explained that at the time of the narrative, Uncle Remus would have been owned by a Red State person.)

Other Republicans at the conference listened to the designated readers and asked if those who set the Tar Baby in B’rer Rabbit’s path were engaging in malicious deception and misrepresentation. There was palpable relief when the readers confirmed that behavior, prompting one Republican member of Congress to mutter “glad we’re sticking to the basics.”

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