Friday, May 19, 2017

Hero Of The Soviet Union!
All Hail Comrade Trump!

“No! I can’t believe it”! Vladimir Putin roared, pounding on the desk so hard the jade pencil-holder jumped. ”He really said that? In front of my Foreign Minister?”

“Boss, it’s in all the papers,” smiled  Sergey Lavrov. “Kislyak and I were standing there grinning for the Tass guy when he said it -- his exact words, in English if you don’t mind, were “I just fired the head of the FBI. He was crazy, a real nut job.”

“No sheet?”  Putin grinned, showing off his own English.

“Черт подери!” Lavrov agreed, nodding. “And then he tipped us to that damned Israeli double agent!”


It wasn’t often  Lavrov found Putin smiling. Maybe now ask about that dacha for his young assistant? She helped in so many ways. . . “Sir, he began --

“Vovochka!” boomed a voice from nowhere. “Is this how you serve the working people?”

Lavrov’s eyes darted nervously around, but Putin only smiled more. “Uncle Koda!” he said. “I’ve missed you! Visiting is good but home is better, they say. Have you met my man Lavrov?”

“A true Stakhanovite?” the voice asked as Lavrov felt a freezing and unseen hand take his. “A good Soviet citizen?”

“The best!” Putin vouched, “but it might help him if you showed yourself, Uncle.”


Lavrov goggled at the impossible figure standing beside Putin, but jumped to his feet and stood at attention anyway.”Comrade Stalin!”

“Ah!” Stalin smiled.”God likes trinity!” Turning to Putin, the smile became a smirk and he said “Vovochka, remember you were complaining about our boyko Trump?” (

“I do, Uncle Koda,” Putin said sheepishly. “You were right as always. He has turned out to be most useful!”

“Every cricket must know its hearth!”  said Stalin .”Do you not agree Comrade Lavrov?”

“I, I.uh,,I” Lavrov managed to stutter.

“Then such good work must be rewarded! The people demand it!” Stalin boomed. “We will make him a Hero of The Soviet Union!”

“But..but..but” Lavrov started then manage to blurt ”But Sirs, there is no Soviet Union now!”

“Sergey, Sergey” Putin said.” An enemy will agree, but a friend will argue, right Uncle Koda?”

“True enough, Vovochka!” The turning to Lavrov, Stalin said “The end is the crown of any work! Thanks to Comrade Putin, you and that useful idiot Trump, we'll be back!” He waved his hand and crystal glasses of icy vodka appeared in his hand, Putin’s and the astonished Lavrov’s.

“Comrades!” Stalin shouted raising his glass. “To Hero of The Soviet Union Donald Trump!”