The Wizard of Ooze!

NEW YORK (LBS) -- Reviews are mixed for Donald Trump Jr.’s opening role  as the Scarecrow in the Republican Party’s production of The Wizard of Ooze. Here are the lyrics to his big number “If I Only Had A Brain.” (See the number from The Wizard of Oz here.)

I colluded with the Russians

In discrete discussions

While hoping to cause pain

“Cause Dear Hill we’d be scratchin

While our plot was busy hatchin’

For our candidate so vain

As for scruples, I had little

It almost made me piddle

To think of all the gain

(With the thoughts you are thinkin’

You could get a five-year lease in

The feds best prison name!)

Oh I could dig up dirt from Moscow more

Than traitor scum had ever dug before

And then I’d try to dig some more

They don’t give this stuff for nothin’

Some purses I’d be stuffin’

But Hey --no pain no gain

But it would be awful pleasin’

To just try a little treason

To help Dad in the main

Then perhaps he’ll reward me

He will throw a few bills toward me

And I’ll collude again!

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