A Real Stimulating Stimulus

For young folks, getting stimulated usually involves a Significant Other or a Significant Fantasy. For those of us getting Social Security Checks, it involves the Obama Administration and the New York Times.

Can we do better? Yes we can!

Some might find President Obama or members of his administration cute, but the Good Grey Lady of Times Square? Good God, has it come to that?

What it’s come to is that the Obama crowd and the Times are on opposite sides of the debate on how best to stimulate Social Security recipients. Many of us are still fully capable of telling what stimulus should be applied where and when, but Dr. Obama seems to think that $250 in government stimulation will work better than private stimulation.

True, with a Senior Discount, $250 might actually pay for reasonably classy stimulation, maybe even near Times Square, but that’s not the view of the New York Times. The Times harrumphs in an editorial that the $250 proposed because inflation fell and there won’t be a Social Security Cost of Living Adjustment this year is just politics:

“The Obama administration has called for an expensive crowd-pleaser of dubious effectiveness: sending every Social Security recipient an extra $250,” says the Times.

The crowd the Times is worried about Obama pleasing is the 57 million or so Americans who get Social Security checks and whose politics have matured from the age of All You Need Is Love to the current Baby Boomer theme -- You Screw Us and We’ll Screw You At The Polls.

Which is why the Obama administration, which includes strong vote-counting ability among its core talents, proposed the stimulus. And it’s also why the Times is upset, since doing anything that smacks of market-oriented, vote-driven politics makes the Times Politburo nervous.

As long as this debate goes on, nobody wins. The Obama administration isn’t pumping some $13 billion into the economy under the cloak of Senior Stimulation, the New York Times isn’t advancing its agenda, and seniors are left, at best, with do-it-yourself stimulation.

So here’s a proposed better way:

Every single adult member of the population will be issued a $125 voucher. The voucher itself will be worthless unless it’s combined with another voucher. Then it will be worth $250.

What the holders of individual vouchers will do to persuade other holders to combine is up to their sense of social responsibility, not to mention their imagination, libido and patriotism.

The Obama administration will be happy because even more than $13 billion will be pumped into the economy. The Times will be happy because everyone will be treated “from each according to his ability to each according to his need.” And seniors will be happy because for a change, they’ll get laid instead of screwed.

Call your U.S. Representative today!

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