But, But, Butt. . .

Citizens of the world learned this week that President Obama has developed an exit strategy for America’s years-long war in Afghanistan and that models for Victoria’s Secret fashion shows need 20 layers of butt makeup before wiggling theirs down the runway.

Guess which fact will be remembered next week.

The United States Senate voted to guarantee present Medicare benefits and we learned that Tiger Woods may have played a few holes off his home course.

Guess which news is getting more attention.

Then, President Obama Thursday held a jobs summit, and called for “every demonstrably good idea” that might increase jobs. So as a patriot and 62-year-old retiree, I looked for training to be a butt makeup artist.

Couldn’t find any available training, although a trip to the supermarket showed lots of potential business. Trouble is, none of their owners seemed to be prospective customers and anyway, I already know how to use a paint roller.

Since I couldn’t find any really worthwhile work to do, I thought about how the new, ubiquitous, unforgiving spotlight of modern media has turned public discourse into an endless round of debate between :Show Me Yours Because I’m Gonna Show You Mine, and I’ve Shown You Mine, Now Show Me Yours, vs the traditionalists Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine and the modernists, who simply bellow “Show!”

And I’ve concluded that there are a lot of things that most of us would rather not know.

My fantasies and I not only do not need to know, we do not want to know that the glorious female bottom bounding down that runway is a five-member team effort. It would only remind us that living up to those fantasies would involve a lots bigger team, most from the Mayo Clinic.

Any golfer who has tried – and failed – to make shots that Tiger Woods makes routinely, is lots more interested in Tiger’s fundamentals than his fun. Never mind that Mrs. Woods used a club to break an SUV’s window, and never mind speculating why she would do that, what club did she use? Is a 3-iron enough, or do you need a wood?

The great gushing maw of the internet will probably answer those questions in the next 60 seconds and the pundits assembled will tell us how lucky we are to have all sorts of information about all sorts of things available all the time,

And they may be right, but, but…

###