When In Doubt, Bomb It Out!

First Afghanistan, Iraq

And Now The Moon?

Even Americans getting used to trading booming prosperity at home for diplomacy that goes boom abroad have been shocked to learn that the Obama administration has aggressive plans beyond Afghanistan and Iraq -- it’s going to bomb the moon.

The United States will bomb the moon on Friday, October 9, when a Centaur rocket from a NASA spacecraft will barrel into the moon at “twice the speed of a bullet,” according to a Scientific American website report.

Since the average bullet tools along at 2,200 feet per second when it leaves a gun barrel, figure that missile to be traveling at 1,500 miles per hour when it slams into the moon, followed shortly after by the launch vehicle on a sort of suicide photographic missions.

The Obama administration isn’t even bothering to cloak this surprise attack on the peaceful lunar surface with a semi-credible “weapons-of-mass-destruction” excuse. NASA contends the only purpose is to blast enough lunar soil high enough so scientists can see if there’s water in it.

Neutral observers were quick to label the administration’s claims as bogus, saying it was like attacking another nation’s warship fleet on the pretext that it was only to see if the ships would sink.

Earth-based groups who are convinced that there is extraterrestrial life on the moon called it a provocative action.

Although there is no accepted record of moon-launched projectiles hitting the Earth, some groups expect the moon to retaliate by launching impact debris far enough into space to strike Earth in a few orbits.

No sources were willing to call this possibility intelligent retaliation on the moon’s part, although several were willing to label it as a sort of celestial passive resistance. Others, who think there is an extraterrestrial base on the far side of the moon, worried that retaliation might take a much more directed approach as in “Okay, Earthies, you wanna play? Play with this!” (Similar viewpoints here.)

Constitutional experts were quick to point out that the Obama administration might be well within its rights as the Constitution gives Congress the power “To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water; “ and the planning moon bombing mission involves neither, unless water is actually discovered.

Other experts pooh-poohed the war and extraterrestrial aspects of the mission, saying an American flag has flown on the moon since 1969 and that the Obama administration is merely conducting ordinary weapons tests on American territory.

There was no word on whether the Obama administration was considering ground troops for the moon, although experts scoffed that the tremendous expense, hostile environment, unfamiliar terrain, lack of cooperative native population and no clearly defined goal would rule that out.

Others weren’t so sure, pointing out that the administration already had troops meeting those conditions in Afghanistan and was considering sending more.

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