President Trump’s Mirror Image

Franklin Pierce is driving President Trump nuts.

Well, actually it’s the 14th president’s mirror. The great gilded rococo thing came to the White House in 1853 and now hangs above the fireplace in the Treaty Room on the residence floor.

President Trump first encountered it early this month between tweets on one of his late-night bathrobe strolls. The president stopped for a quick check of his comb-over and pronounced himself “Lookin’ good! Bigly good!”

“Not hardly,” said the mirror.

“Who said that?” demanded the president, looking around the room. “Who is here?”

“Been wondering that myself,” the mirror answered.

“OK, jokes over, ha ha ha, now show yourself!” Trump barked as he continued to look over the room.

“You’ve already seen me and forgot? Not very impressive for the so-called Commander In Chief, I gotta tell you.”

President Trump looked around wildly, his mind racing into first gear. Call security?  Call Steve Bannon? Call a wife?

“Oh sure, and tell them that you’re hearing voices? That’ll leak faster than Kellyanne Conway at a keg party!”

The president’s eye’s widened. “You read my mind!”

“Yeah, well, it ain’t exactly a chapter book, you know? But tell you what, Donnie, I’ll give you a break…,”

“Don’t call me Donnie!” the president roared, “My victory was colossal! It was stupendous!”

“Yeah, sure it was, but  so Mr. Donnie -- look in the mirror and tell me what you see.”

Not used to taking instruction, the president nonetheless edged warily towards the fireplace mirror.

“Well?” the voice queried?

President Trump stared lovingly at his image, momentarily lost in sincere admiration. “So wonderful! Unbelieveable!” he muttered softly.

“You got that last part right Pal. You are truly unbelieveable. And I’m a mirror that knows unbelieveable when I see it.”

“Mirror!” the president snapped out of his reverie. “I’m talking to a mirror?”

“Hey!” the mirror shot back. “You’ve been making love to one all your life, so what's wrong with a little pillow talk after?”

“Enough!” the president said, spinning towards the door. “I’m outta here!”

“Promises, promises...” the mirror sighed, adding “We’ll talk again soon!”

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